I am really sorry that you didn't enjoy aspects of your stay and am always grateful for constructive feedback. You also arrived with extra guests to stay on the day and I did not charge you or complain. Airbnb is not a hotel or serviced apartment service, you are staying in my home, which is in a newly renovated but never the less old and charming house.. There are elements of your review that I have to say I find very confusing. I have lived here for more than a decade and never heard of or seen a car fire, the locks are standard british Chubb locks and the alarm is the most expensive one on the market using a simple fob key. The house a generously proportioned for a typical British Victorian house so the stairs are plenty big enough to get a suitcase up and I am completely baffled by your comment about the external stairs, I have two young children and bring a pushchair up the stairs everyday. It is not a modern building but I would hope that is very clear from the description and the photos. I do not say I will provide firewood although sometimes I do. We had not had a fire this year as it has been far too warm, I did advise you that they sell it in the shop around the corner. The house is accurately pictured in the photos and you see all angles of the living area and there is no "comfy chair', there is however a top of the range velvet sofa. I also provide a hairdryer in the master bedroom and here is liquid hand-soap in the kitchen and bathroom and bubble bath/ body/ hair wash. You sent me a message to say how well you had all slept in the beds so this is also very strange. The only toys where contained in a small basket behind the sofa, I leave them there as guests often like to have them in case kids come to visit. It is very misleading to imply you were tripping over toys. This house is very British and I think sometimes this can be difficult for people who are used to American proportions, utilities and new buildings.